It's been a while since I wrote a new See You Next Tuesday, so to make it up to all of you, I bring you:
SUPER See You Next Tuesday
Today's edition will be a compilation of ridiculous and terrible links that I've gathered over the last few weeks. Many thanks to the friends from whose Facebooks, Twitters, and Gchats these are stolen, and even more thanks to people of the world for continuing to be mind-bogglingly endless idiots. Without further ado, here we go:
- First, there's this guy who got busted for child porn by the burglars who robbed him.
- Then, there's this motorcyclist who died while protesting helmet laws in New York. Experts say he would've likely survived the crash if he'd been wearing a helmet. Of course, it's already made 2011's Darwin Awards.
- Next, there's this woman named Traci Nobles who sexted with married ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner and is now cashing in with a book deal. Kind of predictable, right? But wait, it gets so much worse: the title of her book is called I Freinded You and the misspelling is intentional. I'm going to let that sink in for a second.
Now, what's the most disgusting part of this story? That Anthony Weiner was and is married, that his wife was pregnant during the sexting episode, that Nobles "doesn't regret it," that her last name is mocking us all, that her career is listed as "former cheerleading coach?" No, it's that due to "overwhelming requests for pre-orders" at least "4 major publishers are interested in taking the book to wider release." Suck on that, English Lit majors: a book called I Freinded You by an ex-cheerleading coach famous exclusively for sexting a Congressman named "Weiner" has four publishers to accommodate her back orders. No, no, I totally think you should still finish your book of poems.
- Here's a great one: schools in the U.K.decided this year to ban students from drawing witches with black hats because it's racist. Since witches are bad, "diversity and equality experts" believe their black, pointy hats entrench racial bias into classrooms at an early age. Never mind the fact that the U.K. incarnation of the pointy-hatted witch is a Western European (white) invention, never mind the fact that, much like the Salem witch trials, Europeans prosecuted only whites as witches in the 17th century, never mind that witches have been almost exclusively portrayed by the media as white women...somehow, their black pointy hats are racist.
|Shouldn't the green-skinned be the ones upset about this?|
|Um, hello, the White Witch is totally racist against Eskimos.|
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