200th Post: Blog Google Search Terms

They say the true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. Well, the true measure of a modern woman is the search terms that lead people to her blog.  You see, Google lets me see how people end up in this crazy little space of mine: what websites lead them here, where in the world they're reading (by country, not by IP address, don't worry!), and what they Googled to get to my blog.  Don't worry folks, none of this shows names, but it does make for some interesting self-knowledge.

So here, for my 200th post (200! And they said it wouldn't last!), I bring you a sampling of some of the search terms that people have used to find me over the last three years. I believe that these search terms, taken in their totality, are probably the best summary of my personality ever.  And to the person who found my blog searching "true prep+book quotes+lunchtime drinking," I feel like we could be best friends if only you didn't search Google like a Boolean library catalog.

I think this is a Google Image Rendering of my blog.
Friends, readers: thank you for supporting me in this endeavor for three years and 200 posts.  For a sappier tribute to you and the blog, please see my entry at my 100th post (all of which is still true).  But for now, please enjoy.  A sampling of my favorite Google search terms leading to my Boomstick, in no particular order: 
  • lots of hot chicks with guns
  • alison lee transexual
  • bubba ho-tep movie boobs
  • "me naked" tsa
  • how do you feel about bacon
  • baby dinosaur
  • what's the dinosaur that looks like a triceratops but doesn't
  • hot female lawyers
  • taylor lautner's behavor with kids
  • intelligent smart funny succsesful (spelled wrong; I love it!)
  • braveheart megaphone
  • what's with the lady in the PC matic commercials winking?
  • hipster dinosaur
  • 'mo money 'mo problems gay men
  • lilox stick men
  • comic sans death threats
  • jesus fighting dinosaurs
  • average naked people
  • humiliating poses
  • badass triceratops
  • clip art career as a loyer (This person is going to make a great loyer!)  
  • photos of dmv workers
  • founding fathers heels
  • indian war party
  • kim kardashian covered in hot tin
  • blowjs
  • write a letter to dean of law school to explain public drunkenness
  • flannel animal band
  • the cast of space jam
  • asian huckleberry finn
  • nude woman looking over shoulder full body
  • jew dinosaur
  • bill clinton sex
  • pope in a cowboy hat
  • underwater zombies
  • girls love love ballet tease
  • porcelain glee crying
  • kfc canada with taco bell
  • charlie sheen full body shot
  • embarrassing naked
  • fighting jesus
  • clothed vs unclothed
  • "ted bundy" "public domain" 
  • middle school ecards
  • eddie long hairpiece
  • failed text messages
  •  i'm not thirsty
  •  joe amendola dance
  • charging triceratops at self (I picture this one being a search from a time-traveler stuck in the prehistoric world frantically Googling on his iPhone because a triceratops is charging him.)
  • dough face
  • kim jong il playing ping pong
  • megyn kelly hair extensions
  • lyle and erik menendez today
  • 18 virgin sex
  • space jams song
  • rick santorum crying
  • naked medical exam
  • obese friends
  • boomstick foregrip strap
  • hungover vanilla extract
  • boom stick trolling
  • examples of sanity 
  • elizabeth taylor moons paparazzi
  • naked college men
  • playboy old school bunny animation
  • dave matthews illegitimate child
  • crying forgiving face
  • rachel maddow fake nude 
  • preppy connecticut
  • old lady hat
  • lisa frank porn
  • kentucky fried chicken specials
  • sketches of bill clinton
  • real ugly babies
  • mr potato head drinking pbr 
  • fire booze drunkard boomstick 
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6 comments

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Preston
AUTHOR
January 17, 2013 at 10:13 AM delete

Soooo... ARE you Dave Matthews' illegitimate child?

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Alison
AUTHOR
January 17, 2013 at 10:25 AM delete

Short answer: yes.


Long answer: yesssssssssssssss.

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Alison
AUTHOR
January 17, 2013 at 10:26 AM delete

(I'm like Mel Brooks over here. Illegitimate, bacon-covered, preppy, naked Mel Brooks, if the searches have anything to tell you.)

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Preston
AUTHOR
January 17, 2013 at 10:37 AM delete

Works for me.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
January 17, 2013 at 10:53 AM delete

You are hilarious. I just love that this much stuff brings your blog up...BUT who the hell Googled "Lisa Frank porn"??? Ew.

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Brad
AUTHOR
January 18, 2013 at 9:54 AM delete

On the advice of my loyer, I refuse to acknowledge which of those search terms I'm responsible for...

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All of the writing on this site, unless otherwise indicated, is original and is exclusively the property of Alison. Most of the images on this site, however, are not owned by Alison. They are largely a product of a Google Image Search and intended to make viewing this site less boring. If any of the images used on this site belong to you and you would like a credit or removal, please contact me at alisonsboomstick@gmail.com.