WTF Wednesday: Jawbones

WTF Wednesday is a much-beloved but long-neglected part of this blog. Today, a random Google search led to its reinstatement, because where else do you share such a wonderful and inexplicable juxtaposition of stock photo and headline as this:

Does it matter what I was searching to find this? No. Do I want a hotdog now? Absolutely.
What? How did a crowded bunch of hotdogs get to be the image accompanying three news stories about the discovery of ancient human fossil remains? Chewing a hotdog is the possibly WORST example of what you might need a jawbone for! Our ancestors had jawbones strong enough to stand the test of time because they tore meat from flesh and ate bark and rocks and bears -- not because they let these little gas station meat amalgams tucked in soft, springy blankets of baked flour melt in their delicate little mouths! 

But then I thought about it a little further because that's the point of this blog: for me to spend too much time thinking about dumb things that a normal busy person would shrug off. And I'm you're glad I did, because I started to realize this is a brilliant little bit of social satire for exactly that reason. Look at you, sloppy obese American Googling "jawbone" because you need a new hands-free headset so that you don't risk burning even one single calorie while you drive and eat and text and listen to the hip hop musics! Look at your mustard-stained shirt, your doughy soft body rivaling that of your limp meat's shell! What would your forefathers think? What would the hunter-gather think, in that last moment of his life before he bit into the hard, rippling neck of a saber-toothed tiger in order to save his primitive village, if he saw you in your Nissan Altima eating your QT hotdog with those powerful jaws he fought so hard to evolve for you?

This is only partly relevant but when you find a photo called
"Richard Nixon Fighting a Saber-toothed Tiger" you fucking use it.

It's like the whole thing is subtext for: yeah, go ahead, read this article about ancient jawbones. But not before you take a good hard look in the rear-view mirror of your life! Subtle, Google, but effective.

And also WTF.

And if you want more in the way of well-done stock photos (who doesn't?!?), look no further than here, where Vince Vaughn and the cast of Unfinished Business took a whole bunch of free stock photos for you to use in your office while you're busy not being a movie actor. (Honestly, they're disappointingly just real stock photos, except with Vince Vaughn in them.)
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© 2015 by Alison

All of the writing on this site, unless otherwise indicated, is original and is exclusively the property of Alison. Most of the images on this site, however, are not owned by Alison. They are largely a product of a Google Image Search and intended to make viewing this site less boring. If any of the images used on this site belong to you and you would like a credit or removal, please contact me at alisonsboomstick@gmail.com.