Where did you go to school?
I graduated from Emory University and the University of Georgia School of Law. I also spent my freshman year at Sarah Lawrence College in New York pretending to be an actress.
Were you popular in college?
I was in an improv comedy troupe, so...absolutely not.
Are you funny?
For a girl.
Are you actually a lawyer?
Yup. By day. By night, I'm really tired from being a lawyer all day.
Are you single?
No, I'm married to a dentist. For reals: you should floss.
What are you favorite dying words?
"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do." – Oscar Wilde
Drinking wine and making my disinterested friends watch The Birdcage.
What's your favorite music in the world?
The bridge from Tears for Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule the World."
That wasn't a very good answer. Second favorite?
Paul Simon, man.
Who's your favorite astrophysicist?
Neil deGrasse Tyson. But I wrote this before he was cool. You know, before Cosmos. The coolest show for cool kids ever.
Who do you want to be when you grow up?
You're going to have to get funny, famous, and some boobs to accomplish that!
Do you have kids?
No, but somehow The Onion already wrote an article about my parenting?
What's your favorite scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?
When Indy and Sean Connery are captured by the Nazis at the castle, and Indy tells them he gave the grail map to Marcus Brody, but the Nazis will never find him, because Brody speaks a dozen languages and knows every custom and has friends in every town and blends in. Then it cuts to Brody in a white Mark Twain suit in the middle of a crowded middle eastern marketplace yelling "Does anyone here speak English? Or even ancient Greek?" That one.
I thought you were going to say the "the chair's on fire...and the floor" scene?
I know. I like that one, too.
Will you explain your unreasonable opinion about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?
No, but my friend Dave Quay will.
Old Cary Grant or Young Cary Grant?
The Philadelphia Story Cary Grant. My, he was yar.
What's your beef with Anne Hathaway?
It's not really MY beef; it's everyone's beef. My biggest beef is that she won't eat beef. But I did write about her a couple of times (count 'em: one, two) and then I got interviewed by Chinese Newsweek about it in Chinese.
Do you speak Chinese?
No. But Google does.
Did I see you in Jezebel?
Yes, you did, plugging this blog. Tell your moms!
If I could see into the very core of your soul, what would I see?